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Pub Story A |
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"Pillage the village" said the parrot on
his shoulder. This would give away the secret identity of captain sherlock, a respected man in the city, and lead him to the gallow. It all started about a year before... It was a rainy october day (as always) and his nickers were drowned by the horrible cats and dogs-rain. He wanted to get warm and entered a strange looking pub. It was like he entered the twilight zone. People were staring at him as he walked in and gazed through his dripping eye lashes. Were they staring at him or his imaginary friend (the parrot)? He walked up to the bar and ordered two pints of Guiness, although he knew that the black stuff would make Bruce (his parrot) talk dirty. He took the two pints and sat down in a quiet corner of the pub. Unfortunately for Bruce, Sherlock's associate walked in, sat down next to Sherlock and downed the pint. "Well chap, how's business then?" He grunted. "It's fine, just fine" growled Sherlock. He didn't want his associate to find out that he lost 2 million pund on world online stocks...Meanwhile his parrot got into trouble, discussing a woman's boobs and what to do with them with her husbands best friend. The boobs asked "touch me" and the parrot didn't think twice and asked them where they were from. "Dublin mate-y" they said. They got in a vivid discussion about U2, the beatles and the three stooges (the band ofcourse). Meanwhile, sherlock was getting sort of sloshed. That was a bad thing, 'cause he was about to spill the truth about the 2 million... But Bruce saved him...sort of. As he was about to spill the beans, Bruce flew overhead in a flat arc, launched on this crash-trajectory by the afore mentioned boob's carriers' boyfriend, who finally got totally fed up with the cheeky parrot's remarks. (guest appearance by pam's friend) What the guests didn't know was that Bruce didn't have a pleasant childhood and that he had been molested by his oversexed mother. "knock knock" Who's there? said willis. It's Bruce! Bruce who? asked Willis. Bruce the parrot! I don't know any Bruce parrot, said Willis. Bruce flew on, wandering what the silly "Willis" wanted. Anyway, Bruce flew out of the pub, leaving behind him a barfight and complete chaos. Sherlock was sober enough, and smart enough, to crawl towards the door, while glasses were shattering around him. Outside, Bruce dropped a pile of shit on his head "this was the 12th time you nearly lost it! I'm tired of saving your sorry ass!" |
paars: Pamela zwart: Astrid groen: Josef blauw: Remy rood: Iris fuchsia: Tim |
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